Mr. Kumar’s Story of Valuing Education

Couple of months back I was going Delhi for an official trip. I had to take the evening flight due to some personal reason. Some technical problem in flight caused further delay and I landed in late evening around 9.45 pm. I had to travel to a boarding place which would have taken almost one hour of my time.  As a female, I always have a fear of traveling alone in a cab late evening that to in a place like Delhi which is considered not to be a safe place. Fear gets mounted when you recall the heinous crimes against women that have happened in the city in recent few years. Preferred yellow black Delhi police cab. My experience till now says for a woman of any age, maturity, exposure, smartness does not count many a time. Traveling alone with an un-known male makes you feel insecure, uneasy, your heart beats faster till you reach your destination. Silence adds extra apprehension.  I cracked the stillness and started talking to the driver, which I mostly do while traveling. Discuss politics, their views on local issues, personal struggle of living in a metropolitan city, how they make to meet both the ends, etc.

Starting of Ride: Google map in my mobile was on and my conversation with the driver started by asking him of his name and his native place. He was Bijaya Kumar (not the real name) from Bihar. A middle-aged man may be of 44 to 46. I asked him how he landed in Delhi, who else are there in family, about children education, how he meets educational expenses in a city like Delhi, wanted to know if he value education in life, etc. Then he narrated his story. Antiquity of more than 30 years of his life in a short ride of around 50 mins.

Dream: Mr. Kumar belong to a remote village of Bihar. When he was young probably completed his matriculation, he met a young man of his village spending a vacation break, who was working in Delhi. Mr. Kumar did not have much interest in study and was helping his father in agriculture. He was fascinated by Delhi returned young man, his smartness, clothes, shoes and the way he was speaking. He said Mr. Kumar that “I am working in a company and earning good”. In most of the poor rural villages when people exiles from aspiration, dream, the young man Mr. Kumar dreamt to go to Delhi for any job opportunity but not agriculture. Mr. Kumar was enthusiastic, if the village senior can help him in getting a job, but it could not be materialized. Finally, he absconded marching towards Delhi without telling his parents, friend back at home.  

Life at Delhi: He narated his entire struggle in Delhi, how he spent endless days with limited food, started pulling trolley,  got a good master and worked in a garage, learnt driving, started driving car, got his own car, now having two extra cars and have kept drivers for running, currently earning good, living happily with his wife and two kids (daughter and son) in Delhi. Story was interesting, engrossing conversation made me forgot that I am traveling alone in late night. 

I was curious to know about his children’s study. If ever he went back to meet his parents. He told once I got bit settled I went to meet parents. They made me marry, choosing my wife as a bride from nearby village. He explained “I have put two of my children in DAV schools”. I asked if your wife has formal education? It was amazing to know that she is a graduate and takes care of children’s study. Both the kids are doing well. He emphasised how education is very important whatever you do in life. You never know giving education opportunity to kids may change the entire life of a person.

A new story of life: Mr.  Kumar mentioned his wife is the eldest of three sisters and two brothers. He then narrated another story of his life. When I was struggling in Delhi to get established my father in law advised me to bring my elder brother in Law to Delhi and engage him in some work. I recommended him, “he is so young studying only in standard eight, we should encourage him studying more”. His brother in law was studious and scored very high in the matriculation (he was not able to recall his percentage). He said “we pursued him studying science and he got through an entrance test to be enrolling for IIT coaching in Kota. I could manage along with my father in law to put him in that coaching institute. The next year he got IIT and now settled in America with a very good Job. The first package he got while in campus was 27 lakhs per annum”.

Life's Contentment: One can feel the happiness, contentment in his face. Contentment of taking a right decision, contentment of supporting someone for pursuing higher education mentally and financially, the serenity of seeing someone struggling and getting established well in life. Similarly, the younger brother in law pursued his education with support from all of us and now doing MBBS (daktari he mentioned) in AIMs Delhi. The stories were so inspiring, I was amazed of hearing them. I asked with lot of curiosity, your father in law is a farmer how he pursued the education of all his kids?  How the children got so much interest in study? Then he revealed my mother in law is a primary school teacher and from the beginning she took care of the study and guided children to pursue higher education.

I recall many of such inspiring stories of people not advantages of their birth to shield from hunger, oppression, humiliation sans the opportunities, the right to study, a quality of life has come out successfully in life with constant motivation by their parents specially mother for pursuing study. Many of them are teachers, academician, engineers, senior bureaucrats, doctors, scientist, almost in all fields. Today when whole India is talking of Vikram Lander of Chandrayana -2, the Space scientist, ISRO Chair Person, Mr. K. Sivan belong to a poor family of a farmer and the first graduate of his family. One of the most respected individuals of our era A P J Abdul Kalam was son of a fisherman.  As one of the fundamental right of every Individual is to dream, to aspire high, opportunity may come on the way.

A pleasant trip came to an end. I did not notice my google map in between. I was so contented talking to Mr. Kumar. I shook hand with him and told I will write a blog on you (told him in the way he will understand).

Happy today for introducing Mr. Kumar’s inspiring story of valuing education.

  

Menarche a unique experience

Long years back when I was a Kid, may be prior to my teens in a chilled winter early morning my mother woke me up and asked to go to WASH room and take a head bath. I was so surprised of her behavior, thought being my mother how can She be so ruthless. Why such punishment? I resent but in vain. As both my parents were working and were placed in different place, in annoyance I told her let my father come this time I will tell him of your brutal behavior towards me. I had no idea what is happening with my body and why I was bleeding. A girl who was over enthusiastic to take her bicycle and rush to attend school every working days was asked to remain at home for 3 days.   I was told, you have grown up now.  I was shocked, how can someone become grown up in a day of difference? This was my menarche experience. I was lucky that my mother was not that strict on taboos in my successive menstruation. Only restraint was of touching God and visit to temples. It was different that how much even I obeyed that taboo 😊

Menstruation which is a natural physiological process in the reproductive cycle of a girl is factored with so many taboos, fallacies. Proscription on food, free movement, confinement at home in a room, even not allowed to enter kitchen, free choice of attire (not allowed to wear certain colored dresses), restriction in mingling with cousins, friends of the opposite sex, social exclusion, in certain culture practice of observing the event with a great ostentatious display by calling relatives, friends, neighbors, perhaps to show that girl is ready for marriage. Many believe women are impure those menstruating days, they are not allowed to touch bed, plants, certain food item, and reason that their touch would spoil things. People strongly believe that menstrual blood is impure, that comes out of women body. 

Menstruation is rarely a conversation subject, especially in front of males even if, he is a father, brother, a good friend. Mothers also hesitate and feel embarrassed to talk on this with their adolescent girls as it has connection with sex and reproduction. Many Girls are not that lucky as I was, whose father used to get sanitary napkins of her choice, used to discuss my cramp problems, used to do massage to comfort me, get medicine for me, with whom I used to discuss openly on my embarrassment on blood strain, asked him to check if my dress in back is alright.   
   

Cultural practices and taboos around menstruation makes women life difficult. Many of such prohibitions reinforce gender discrimination and exclusion.  Many prevailing taboos make the menstrual hygiene more difficult, certain practices creates challenges for maintaining menstrual hygiene.

A girl facing a physiological change, even sometimes the emotional mood changes due to changing hormones, needs to be dealt with empathy and not by banishment. She needs support to deal the change in life. She needs to know what is happening in her body, which is a natural, normal process nothing offending, nothing embarrassing. Many prevailing taboos makes a girl life difficult and limit their freedom. Strongly believe solution is to break the silence, speak openly on menstruation, how important is to maintain hygiene, menstrual blood is not impure, the milk that we (hindus) consider pure and pour on Lord Shiva, use for many religious practices get soiled with the growth of bacteria in it, so as any blood, Menstrual blood stinks as soon as bacteria grows. It’s important to critically think on the practices unlike just adopting and making children’s life hell. Dealing menstruation is not just knowing the physiology, science of hygiene but more of a life skill to deal with such glitches of life.